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MARCH 2008
| Monday, March 31, 2008 |
I'm home!!! YaY!!!!!!! =D =D =D Maybe the dark circles under my eyes will go away now. I'm so excited about returning to my routine. Tomorrow I get to dust off my sweatband and put it back to use. I'm so happy to be in a hot humid swamp climate again. I don't get to stay home all month though like I thought I could, I think I have to go back to Portland and I have to go to Los Angeles in the middle of the month. I laugh when I think about the heat, and how many models are coming to stay with us this summer. They're in for a surprise. And by surprise I mean a big punch in the face by the humid heat. Porcelain says she's coming back, she was here last summer so she knows how it is.
I must sleep now. It's almost 4am! Tomorrow will be cleaning and working on the site, and making cookies for my brother in-law because his grandmother passed away :*(
Aww man, I didn't plan any April Fools jokes this year :( I totally forgot. |
| Sunday, March 30, 2008 |
I shot with Kencredible today.
He made me eat dirt.
Just kidding. I volunteered to do it. =D
I liked working with him a lot. I wish I was better at writing testimonials, then I would write him a really big fantastic awesome testimonial, because I really like him.
After that shoot was done I headed over to see Philip and shoot with him and work with a very talented makeup artist named Daniel. I met Daniel back in January 2006 at Christine Kessler's studio in Los Angeles. I remember thinking he did amazing work and I was really excited to be made up by him. But unfortunately I didn't get into his chair until 1am and I was so shithoused by that time that before he could even finish one eye, I fell out of the makeup chair and spent the rest of the night in the bathroom. I'd like to add now that I've been sober for 8 months now lol. Anyways, I worked with Daniel tonight after waiting over 2 years and he covered me in bronzer and made me super duper tan. Then the hairstylist gave me a Rick James jerry curl kinda thing.
Philip looked at me and said, "What the fuck is that." I'm laughing hysterically right now thinking about it again. Anyways, you'll see pictures soon enough. I'd really like to shower now. |
| Saturday, March 29, 2008 |
I was a "superstar judge" tonight at Catwalk 4 with Jayla from ANTM, Kambrielle, Joey Martini and Mr. Picnic! I got to watch Goth people be Goth, then I rated them on how Goth they were. And I was giving extra points to the girls I thought were the sluttiest, and the girls who were wearing their corset correctly. I love sluts and I love corsets, and hot damn I was lucky enough to be around both at the same time. The winners weren't really slutty, just pretty and creative.
There was a 10 year old there, so I felt really uncomfortable and couldn't tell any of my vag jokes. I stayed really quiet and spent most of the time in the back by the boxing ring with the other judges.
We're back at the hotel now. As the Catwalk Tragedy was wrapping up, Picnic was finishing up his last cocktail and thought it was a good idea to stash left over Boca burgers in my bag, even though we don't have a microwave in our hotel room. Or a mini-fridge. I think he's in the bathroom now trying to steam one in the sink full of hot water. I love that crazy muffin.
Mosh is spending the night tonight with us in Philly <3 We're having a slumber party. =D |
| Friday, March 28, 2008 |
Tour de phonecam, March 28. A series of the last 7 photos taken with my phone.
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| Thursday, March 27, 2008 |
Guess who's being sued?
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| Wednesday, March 26, 2008 |
There are no problems, only situations.
I can't tell if I'm losing my mind or finding peace. Maybe both? |
| Tuesday, March 25, 2008 |
Are there any plans for more tattoos? Anything specific in mind?
Yes, my full back and my upper left arm. I can't tell you what it is though.
In sets like "cherry pie" how in the hell do you get your hair so damn curly? Is some of it extensions or something or do you just use a hot iron thinga ma bobber?
Tran Nguyen down at the Wig Shop does some fluffing then packs it neatly in a plastic bag and she gives it to me in exchange for US currency.
Have you ever taken some sort of dance classes? I ask this because of the video "fire" where you do the best dancing evveerrrr!
I've never taken a formal dance class, I just hang out with a lot of strippers.
I know that your style is crazy, but do you have an designers that you really like/ would be willing to spend the cash for their stuff? (I'm not crazy into designers but ever since Macy's came out with Betsey Johnson stuff I find myself going there every week and buying her jewelery.)
Hmm...no.
Have you ever wanted/ do you want to plan on doing some kind of avant garde esque photo shoot with big poofy dresses and weird concepts, etc.
I've already done that! You must not be a site member. *spank spank*
Do you ever want to have kids in the future?
Absolutely not. I'll just buy stuff for my nephew.
Do you exercise? Do you have a particular exercise plan, or suggestions? hint hint?
Yes, I exercise more than ever. My advice is to ask a trainer what exercise will be best for your body type, and eat healthy foods.
I was wondering how u and Phillip met and if u finished growing up/highschool in Houston or somewhere else?
I've lived in Houston since I was born and graduated high school here in 2002. Philip and I met through mutual friends. Sorry that story isn't more exciting =/
Our exciting life makes up for our boring story of how we met =D |
| Monday, March 24, 2008 |
Alex Rodriguez makes me feel special again.
We're back at Dennis' house packing up and getting ready to leave for the airport at 5:30am tomorrow morning! I had a fantastic trip to Portland this time and hope I can come up here again very soon. :) |
| Sunday, March 23, 2008 |
Ugly Shyla sent me this and I've been laughing at it for two days now.
Happy Easter :) |
| Saturday, March 22, 2008 |
Do you like flowers?
I love flowers! My favorite flowers are freesias and cherry blossoms. There's lots of cherry blossoms blooming right now in Portland and the sidewalks are beautiful and I always get really happy while I'm walking down the street.
What was your favorite childhood TV show?
The Simpsons, Rocko's Modern Life, South Park (which I still love), Doug, Saved By The Bell, Out of This World, and I loved MTV music videos.
Do you have any silly nicknames?
Not anymore! When I was a kid people called me Pimp because of my last name, which is funny because now that would be a compliment.
Now I expect people to refer to me as Pimp.
Are you the type of person who has vivid dreams, or rarely remembers their dreams?
I have vivid dreams. I'm a freak and I think my nightmares are warnings for what is in the future if I don't take proper action to change the outcome. I might
be full of crap. Leave me in peace with my delusions.
On a slightly more relative note, I'm curious as to how you're family responded to your job. It's a personal matter though so I don't expect you to answer it if you don't want to.
They weren't specific about it. If I remember correctly my mom might have cried a little. I think my stepdad wanted to kill Philip. I think both of them knew and weren't telling the other, then one day they realized they both knew what was going on. I waited to tell them until I was published in a few magazines and had worked with a few designers so they didn't think I had just lost my mind. They're both very proud of both of us. As for my dad, I don't know if he knows. He would probably think my mom put her Satanic juju in me and I was past the point of being saved by Jesus.
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
The ability to control my thoughts and manifestations. If I could get that down, then I could change all sorts of things. I guess that's like the Genie asking what your three wishes would be then me saying, "I wish for infinite wishes."
If you could kill someone and have a guarantee that you would never ever be caught would you do it? (cliche question but I love the way different people answer it)
Bahahahaha! You know the answer to that. You should.
Unicorns, mermaids, or dragons?
Unicorns.
Who would win in a fight a Jedi or a pirate?
Pirate.
What was your favorite book as a child?
The Giver, James and the Giant Peach, and Mr. Popper's Penguins. I also loved the Goosebumps books.
Are you planning to vote in the presidential election and if so, who do you plan on voting for and why?
Yes I'm voting, but I don't know who I'm voting for yet. I'm still reading about both candidates.
What is your favourite sound?
And
What is your least favourite sound?
I don't know if it's my all-time favorite sound, but I love hearing a cat purr. My least favorite sound is a screaming kid.
Why don't you wear a wedding ring?
Sometimes I do...
And sometimes I don't. :) |
| Friday, March 21, 2008 |
Have any weird talents? Like I'm creepily flexible and I can spit water through my teeth without any gap.
I can flip my tongue backwards and hold it there for over a minute. I can also make an origami stingray out of a dollar bill. And I can run on a treadmill in 7 inch heels and exercise in a corset.
When will you come in France ? And why do you want to visit France ? What's the thing(s) that gives you the envy to go there ?
I don't know when I will finally make it to France. I have always wanted to see Paris and the countryside, and I would cancel any plans I had if I was given the opportunity to go there. My mom has told me how beautiful the countryside of France is and since the French are so proud I've always wondered if everything is as amazing in Paris as they say it is. *girl moment* I would also love to go shopping there. And I would have to get a tattoo by this guy. But if I'm going on my own dime, there's a few places I want to visit first, like Thailand, Bali, or Spain.
I REALLY wanna know how you got up in the tree for the Envy shoot.
We CLIMBED! I can do amazing things in heels. |
| Thursday, March 20, 2008 |
Here's some important announcements!
One of our local gems GIVE UP is having a solo show!
You may remember this fancy piece from the LP lawsuit relief effort :
And in Philadelphia you can come see me and Picnic HERE!
Alex Rodriguez gave me more drawings! Yay!
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| Wednesday, March 19, 2008 |
I hung out with Alex Rodriguez the other day. He draws pictures of me now :) Hopefully someday we can hang out again and talk about Batman and he can take more photos of me in my mesh leotards and high sock collection.
Go see his website for more of his work! |
| Tuesday, March 18, 2008 |
Does Apnea have a Twangy Texas Accent, and has anyone made cruel fun of this?
I don't have an accent unless when I used to drink it would come out a little, or if I'm around my parents it might slip a little, or if I'm around Ugly Shyla it comes out. I don't think I have one but when I go to Europe they say it's really thick. Nobody has ever made fun of me...to my face. lol
Has Apnea ever considered riding a mechanical bull? Would she do this for $X?
I rode one in Mexico and I did really well. If someone wants to furnish me with a mechanical bull as payment and help me install it in my office, I will ride it as often as you please.
How did Apnea become a Hawt Gawth Chick[sic]. I mean, did she dress up one Halloween when she was 12 and spend the next decade refusing to remove the costume and makeup?
If memory serves me correctly, I was a penguin that year for Halloween. It was a homemade costume made of felt, my belly was stuffed with pillows and I had to waddle. My mom made really great costumes, and I always placed or won costume contests when I entered. The next year I went as Carmen Miranda and had a big fruit hat that I then used as a fashion accessory in high school. Other than that, I don't know how to answer this question. I'm only goth to some, and just different to others. I hear more often, "You dress like a crazy old lady" than, "You're a hot goth chick."
Questions are fun! |
| Monday, March 17, 2008 |
Do you have a favorite dinosaur? And what's with all the Virgin of Guadalupe stuff?
My favorite dinosaur is the brontosaurus. I really like it's long neck and tiny head, and it isn't as aggressive as some of the other dinosaurs like the T-Rex. The Land Before Time used to be one of my favorite movies as a kid and there were a lot of brontosauruses in that, so that could be another reason why I'm drawn to them.
La Virgen de Guadalupe. I live in Houston, TX which if I'm not mistaken has a higher hispanic population than any other ethnicity. I see this thing everywhere I go. I really just love the way she looks. But there's also the whole Catholic thing. Both of my parents are religious. My dad was Baptist and my mom is Catholic. Once he was out of the picture my mom enrolled me in catechism classes at the local Catholic church. I used to cringe at the sight of a Virgin Mary statue because it reminded me of religion that I felt was forced on me although I disagreed with it, all of the akward and sad moments between me and either one of my parents when I would fight with them, and my seven year struggle from not believing in anything to finally finding spirituality. But now I look at it and I don't even think of religion. I really love Guadalupe because I look at it and I think of my loud neighbors and all of their kids that play in our yard, corn tortillas and accordians, brightly painted houses, but I also love how happy she looks and all of her busy patterns and that big glowing light behind her. The Virgin Mary I grew up looking at wasn't nearly as festive or exciting. |
| Sunday, March 16, 2008 |
There's been some discussion that my fake eating disorders are no longer entertaining you, so I'm now taking requests for new things to write about!
Here's some questions from Samson, which I will gladly answer now.
1. Has Apnea ever been in a Catfight? If so, why, and who won?
When I was a little girl we moved around a lot and I went to lots of different schools. I never had a chance to stay in one place too long and make friends before I was 10 or so. Finally by the time I was 10 we stayed in one place long enough for me to make friends, but the damage had already been done. I was pretty much socially inept and also embarrassed of where I lived so the one or two people I did talk to I would never invite over after school. The upside to that is I did exceptionally well in school and took honors classes because I had so much time to devote to my studies. Anyways...I was also really weird looking, kids made fun of me and said I looked like a mouse and some of the really mean little bastards would trip me, hit me, steal my homework, one girl even beat me with a belt once for no reason. I'll spare you the really sad stuff and skip to when I was 13. I finally started fighting back, and yes I've been in many fights between the ages of 13-15. The weirdest thing someone ever did to me once was bite my hair out. The worst thing that ever happened to me was breaking my finger and fracturing my rib. The worst thing I ever did to someone during a fight was have my friend hold this boy down and then I took off my boots and repeatedly hit him in the face with them. But we're talking about cat fights...yes I've been in some, I've been close to many but in my experience people don't really want to fight even if they say they do, so even if I shoved someone or slapped someone they wouldn't hit me back. After I was kicked out of my third high school and started at my fourth I settled down given my options if I were to get any more tickets at school for fighting or other offenses. So instead of hurting other people I became extremely self-destructive until Philip saved my life. I could never imagine fighting someone now. The last physical fight I tried to get into never turned into a real fight. my friend picked me up off of the girl and sat on me until I stopped screaming and kicking. I only got a few shitty punches in to her head but she didn't bleed so I didn't do a very good job. I was 15 when that happened. Seriously I could never imagine doing this kind of stuff now. I'm a lover now =P
2. Has Apnea ever been abducted by Aliens?
No. When Meagan Filth was in town though we went outside and her, me, and Philip saw these three things in the sky going seriously fast, they were perfectly spaced apart, started really large then faster than anything I've seen traveling in the sky it went straight up and out. I'm not saying anything, just saying...
3. What does Picnic think Apnea smells like?
I'm frequently complimented on how I smell. I cover myself in coconut oil and I wear pretty perfume that smells like vanilla and apricot. I use Rusk Smoother shampoo and conditioner so my hair usually smells like that when it doesn't have a ton of product in it. I'm paranoid about bad breath so I eat lots of breath mints and try to drink lots of water. Picnic gets to smell me after I've been on one of my mini-marathons though and one time afterwards he told me I smelled like nickels.
I'll answer more questions tomorrow =D |
| Saturday, March 15, 2008 |
I have some candids from the San Francisco Fetish Ball...
Steve Diet Goedde and my babycakes. Two of my favorite guys :)
Me, Steve DG, and Aradia
The lovely Aradia and me backstage before the show. You love our matching outfits, don't deny it.
I'm really tan. Photo by Vance
On my way to coat check after the show is over. I love shiny clothes.
Me, Picnic, and Mosh at the end of the night. Mosh is such an amazing person. I'm very fortunate to have worked with her so much recently.
I have lots more I'll post later. Time to go buy my top hat. |
| Friday, March 14, 2008 |
Today was my first bikram class and I've felt amazing all day. Especially under the circumstances.
Tomorrow I will go to the costume shop and buy a top hat.
I brought a huge suitcase with all of the Ebay items from the auctions and I just finished boxing up and addressing the last box. Unfortunately the post office is closed now so I can't ship everything out until Monday morning. But I feel better knowing it's almost all done.
This trip is already so much better than my last trip up here in November. Plus there's all of these shops less than a mile away from our house and I had no idea last time. I feel like I found buried treasure or something. But anyways, we're about to take a break from work to have dinner and a movie with Dennis. So I gotta go now. =D |
| Thursday, March 13, 2008 |
I'm writing this on my phone, I hope it works. I'm at the airport right now waiting to board the plane. I feel like a very important person sitting here with my laptop, messaging away on my pda. I have a very strict schedule for the next two weeks which I'm very happy about. I need structure. I fear change. lol. I'm attempting to do bikram yoga every morning while I'm in Portland. I'll begin everyday feeling like I'm going to die in a boiling hot room for 90 minutes. When I finish something that difficult early in the morning everything else after that seems easier.
I'm excited about seeing Dennis again. He's our host for the next two weeks, and he's messaged me to tell me that he has lots of kombucha waiting for me upon my arrival.
Time to fly! =D |
| Wednesday, March 12, 2008 |
I feel so amazing today! I have five sets ready to edit in Portland, so for my site members this month it's going to be a little weird, there's going to be one week with a lot of updates to make up for the last week I made the mistake of trying to take a break from working. But I feel so much better knowing that's going to happen. The pictures are really good too, I feel like my work is finally getting better. I knew this would finally happen! I've been distracted by bad things but I'm not distracted anymore and I have so many ideas that I'm going to start working on NOW. No more having great ideas then not doing anything.
And I hear there's a new episode of South Park <3 AND I made a new wishlist at Wicked Temptations. I don't have enough shiny ho-clothes in my life.
I have 11 Ebay items ready to ship out before our flight to Portland tomorrow, and I have a huge pink suitcase filled with the other 41 Ebay items that I'll be shipping from Portland. I feel so much better knowing I'll be busy while I'm up there. I'm also going to make Philip shoot me until he gets sick of me. And LOTS OF VIDEO. I need so much more video. I need a video camera around me more.
Our flight leaves in a few hours, and I still have to shower, watch the new South Park, and finish packing. And I need to find two Asian girls in Houston that will be part of my stage performances.
Bye!!!! |
| Tuesday, March 11, 2008 |
Hello!!!! =D
I'm back in Houston for two more days, then I'll be flying out to Portland. I've had mild panic attacks the last few days without my laptop and being unable to work. I thought I would have a nice break from work for a week but it ended up stressing me out even more knowing I wasn't getting any work done. And after writing my journal entries just about every day for the last two years and then going a week without writing one really made me crazy. That's not the only thing that's been making me feel crazy though. Everything seems different. Maybe it's because I haven't been home in a week. I miss my routine. We stayed with an awesome model/photographer couple in San Francisco, and the photographer, Conan, told me, "The only constant in life is change. It's good that you're experiencing change, because things are going to change and you can't learn to expect them to stay the same." Good advice, but I still feel crazy.
The Black Rubber Band
I found a black hair band in my bathroom that I started wearing around my wrist everyday. If it wasn't in my hair it was on my wrist. I would take it off to shower and lay it on top of my pile of neatly folded clothes then put it back on my wrist immediately after getting out of the shower. I didn't realize how attached I became to it. If it wasn't on my wrist I would freak out until I found it, then once I found it I would be calm again and put it back on my wrist. It started getting really stretched out but I still loved it.
The night of the Fetish Ball they had the models quarantined upstairs before the runway shows started. All of the girls from Madame S were in the same area, running back and forth from hair to wardrobe to makeup. I was adjusting my latex tuxedo in a dressing room with another model from Georgia who couldn't get her hood to fit over her pony tail. I tried to help her and without even thinking I pulled my black rubber band off of my wrist and threw it in her hair to try to fix it. It wasn't until after I got home I realized what I had done. And I wouldn't be surprised if I was going to have a nervous breakdown any day now, but I was so sad. I felt like I lost a friend. I still haven't had a chance to replace it either. Maybe I'll feel better when I buy a new one.
Here's another funny story...I am so tan. Seriously. I thought I just looked normal because I'm around myself everyday and don't see a lot of people. Or all the time I spend walking around the city by myself, or passing out naked on the roof, I had no idea what happened. I haven't burned at all, because I eat my sun protection (I don't eat sunscreen, I eat foods that naturally protect my skin from the sun, so I never burn). My dad is really really dark, he looks more Creole than Cajun, so I guess I get it from him. But holy crap. I think I was the darkest white person in the show. Someone took a photo of the four of us girls wearing the same outfit in the runway show and I was so much darker than everyone in the photo. I told Philip about it and we laughed our ass off but I would flip-flop between laughing and being frightened at how dark I am now. It sucks because I love the sun so much but now I feel like I have to lock myself inside for a month.
Another routine I've developed is around my meals and the food I eat. I have the ability at home to count every calorie, combine foods properly, measure out my servings, and I can't do that when I go out of town. I can't bring a scale and measuring cups to restaurants with me because I'm not a douche. So that made me feel crazy not having that control that I usually have.
I loved San Francisco! We were staying in North Beach so I walked around Chinatown almost every day. Our friend Conan drove us around so we could see the city, and took me to meet his crazy Chinese uncle who gave me lots of tea and yelled at everyone. Conan's girlfriend is really pretty and quiet and smells like gelati. I met lots of internet people and I made a complete ass of myself for the History Channel.
When I woke up yesterday I was really sick. I think I caught something in Chinatown. I feel a little better today but I'm still a little nervous about traveling under this condition. Everyone on the plane last night was coughing and sniffling. I had my bandana tied around my nose and mouth as tight as I could so I didn't catch any extra badness. Philip said I looked like a bank robber. Now I have to go to the post office before they close. Talk to you tomorrow! :) |
| Tuesday, March 04, 2008 |
I'm really run down today on every level. I can't stop thinking negative thoughts and I don't feel good physically. I'm moving slow and not working efficiently. I'm really overwhelmed and wish I could just stop and be happy. I really need to laugh right now and try to snap back.
If you've sent me an email in the last week and I haven't replied please cut me some slack and give me a few more days to reply. If it's really super important you should have my phone number.
Sorry for such a bummerman update. |
| Monday, March 03, 2008 |
I'm bringing back LOL. It's so old that it's cool again. But only someone who spends as much time on the internet as me could appreciate the use of this retro shorthand. If you're not as advanced as me you might think that I'm not very cool when I type it, but you're wrong.
It rained all day today and it's cold. Now I'm even more excited to go to California to get away from this weather! I'm a little stressed out about how much I have to do before I leave though. I don't think I'm bringing my computer so I can't work too much while I'm gone. Although I need to work. I've been doing so much that I'm behind now on my normal stuff that I have to do every week :/ Good grief.
I'm so excited to leave that I'm packed already. I used to run away from my problems but now I face them and work it out. I feel better as a person to do that, but I'm kinda excited that I get to run away from problems again even if it's only for a few days. I think taking a break will do me some good. And when I get back I'll be well rested and I can work out my situations with more enthusiasm.
Time for sleep! My throat hurts :/ Too many apples =D |
| Sunday, March 02, 2008 |
I slept for 12 hours last night but I'm still tired. We woke up and rushed to the movies to meet Picnic's mom before the previews started. We saw Semi Pro, and boy did that suck.
After the movie we had lunch at the Rainforest Cafe. Picnic was able to eat food other than apples for the first time in three days. That wasn't the case for me. I had my apple and looked at all of the fat people around me to take my mind off of the food on the table.
I'm back home now, I still feel feverish and sick to my stomach. My body feels like it does when I go running sometimes and I hit a wall. Is there such thing as a detox wall? Have I hit it? Why does my throat hurt everytime I eat an apple? I don't know but I feel like I should still stick to it for another two days after this. Best thing I can do now is get back into bed as soon as possible, but before I can do that I have to catch up on my work.
=D |
| Saturday, March 01, 2008 |
March! Yay :)
I woke up at 9:30am and went for a six mile jog. After I got home I had just enough time to take a shower and prepare for the noon shoot at the studio. The model's name was Adrianne and she says "balls" as much as I do. I loved working with her!
After she left, Picnic and I rushed over to have dinner with my family at Chuys. Everyone enjoyed their dinner, and Philip and I enjoyed our apples. Speaking of apples, I feel like I'm running a fever. I didn't get much sleep last night and after running around all day I should really take it easy. Time for bed! :) |
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